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Beware The Scary Debt Monsters!

By
Andrew Tavin
Andrew Tavin covers budgeting and credit scores for OppLoans. His experience as a comedian lends an approachable and humorous angle to his content and makes the scary parts of personal finance less intimidating for readers.
Updated on April 9, 2021
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As Halloween approaches, we here at the OppLoans Financial Sense Blog want to warn you about some of the scariest monsters out there: the Debt Monsters!

While some creatures may try to spook you or replace your baby with one of their own, only revealing their trick when the goblin-child starts to come of age, the worst creatures are the ones who try to grab your wallet in the middle of the night. Or the day. Anytime really.


The Payday Goblin

PayDay Goblin

The Payday Goblin will try to trick you into thinking you’re getting a good deal with a payday loan. But if you can’t pay the loans back with all of its interest and hidden fees, you’ll end up trapped, giving more and more of your money to the goblin. And it just eats the money! It doesn’t even spend it on anything good like charity or at least one of those newfangled VR headsets. All gone!

 

The Credit Heads

Credit Heads

The credit heads look at your past payment behavior and judge you accordingly. The problem is, despite the professional looking tie, they can make mistakes and sometimes will even let your data get taken. For the most part, however, if you manage your credit well, you’ll avoid the meaty fingers of this three-headed beast.

 

The Debt Trapper

Debt Trapper

Suffering a financial emergency is no fun. But it’s even worse when you have bad credit. Why? With most lenders, bad credit means you’re unlikely to get a loan with good rates and terms. Many of the loans you can get will be designed to send you into a cycle of debt. When the Debt Trapper has you caught in it’s long, extendable tongue, it can be difficult to wriggle free before it pulls you into its bottomless tummy of despair.

The Ghost of Missed Payments Past

Ghost

Did you miss a credit card payment years ago? The Ghost of Missed Payments could still be haunting you. Every past due notice you’ve ever received is floating in its ectoplasm. The only way to exorcise the spooky spirit is to make sure you pay all of your bills right on time pay all of your bills right on time going forward. As your credit score raises from the dead, the ghost will return to the grave.

(What happens when you don’t pay your bills on time? Read how one late payment can affect your credit in our blog!)

The Financial Horror

Fin_Horrors

Whether it’s a medical issue, a sudden vital car repair, or something else, Financial Horrors can come at you out of nowhere. It’s important to have a financial cushion built up so you can protect yourself from the beast should it appear. The last thing you want is to be absorbed into its goopy body. We’re not sure if it smells, but it looks like it smells.   

The Hidden Feeline

Hidden Feeline

Read that contract carefully before you sign it. You never know what sort of furry fines might have snuck into the personal loan you’re trying to take out. It will try to distract you with its bewitching eyes so you miss the CATastrophic terms you’re agreeing to.

Collector

Collector

If you don’t make a payment, this is the guy they call in. Aside from the endless rattling in your voicemail machine, it’ll use its furry mitts to snatch away your credit score and you’ll have to work really hard to bring it back up.

The Relentless Expenses

Expenses

Some expenses (think rent and utilities) will constantly follow you, month to month, without end. You won’t be able to get rid of them, so you’ll just have to work out a plan to stay ahead of them as best as you can. If you have the means to set up regular automatic bill payments, that should do a lot to keep them at bay.  

The Title Monster

Title

If you have bad credit, you might consider a title loan, where you offer up your car as collateral for a loan. They don’t care about your credit score, but the payment terms tend to be short and the fees and interest are high. Better to avoid them, unless you want to risk having your car devoured by the Title Monster, a hulking horned giant that devours cars. It eats the entire vehicle and spits out any air fresheners. It doesn’t like air fresheners.


The debt monsters may be frightening, but pay your bills on time and build up your savings and credit and you’ll stay safe this Halloween and beyond.

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